Chiron

Chiron or Kheiron or the Centaur, the wounded healer, the essential pain of being incarnate human. Difficult to understand for our mind because we tend to avoid feeling it. How can we understand something we run away from?

My first proper family constellation was to understand Chiron in my natal chart. It was hard and painful, growing pains happened after this constellation. The idea was to integrate such pains fully into my life, to understand that is part of me and to 'see it', as Chiron is placed in one unconscious part of my natal chart that is house XII.

I am trying to learn about a different placement, it happens that Chiron in house V appeared in two people's charts I looked at in the last 12 hours, one of whom is Julian Assange, the Wikileaks founder who is facing extradition to USA for informing the public about real manipulation of governments, "whistleblower major". He has been 5 years in Belmarsh prison in England, separated from his children and in a lot of pain, at suicide risk. Julian had his Chiron return about 5 years ago.

The astral house V is the placement of creativity and creations, and of children, both our own inner child (our infancy) and also the children we may parent. Julian Assange has been separated from his children, having been before prison, in protective asylum in the Ecuadorian embassy in London. I wanted to mention this because many astrologers do not mention this possibility, they speak about envy of others or their own children for showing themselves freely.  Chiron in this house may reflect, I theorise, that children are lost, wounded or that they are separated from the parent. I know these are only two cases but they have impacted me and I will continue investigating this.

Chiron is an essential part of our life as reflected in our astral chart;

it is the key to our soul,

the wounded healer...

our deepest wound is our greatest gift...

Japanese kintsugi...

the gift or our wounds...

no Mud, no Lotus...

Lilith

Having worked in many of the complexities of my psyche helped by studying my natal chart, here I am again being triggered by other's occult anger. The force that this trigger awakens reveals something I am now used to ask: what hidden/ unconscious part of myself is this person showing me?

When I think of the type of person that currently are triggering some sort of strong emotional response, being fear, anger, frustration, envy, they have something in common, the energy of the sign where I have Lilith placed in my natal chart.

I know the different versions of Lilith myth, in the various versions what happens is exile, whether chosen or imposed (like the church tells it), she leaves paradise (or the conscious world) to go and exert some sort of revenge for not being heard or respected. This is followed by various "tos and fros" between the male gods who are not happy with her and Lilith who does not bow to their laws. The story has massive killing of children whether Lilith's children by the male gods or other's children by Lilith retaliation.

In a way these all talks about killing our own creation, hiding our truth, repressing what is not easy to show the world, making what we believe to be unsavoury a secret, living in the hidden/ the unconscious. And I know that what we do not make conscious and integrate as part of who we are, ends up driving our behaviour, emotions or thoughts, looking for a way out.

I am writing because precisely my Lilith is the house of communication in the sign of verbal communication. In my natal chart Lilith is in degree 9 of Gemini, in the 3rd house and aspected to Mercury in degree 9 of Sagittarius, so they are in exact opposition. My thinking and communication with my peers is hidden. I feel I am not going to be heard or understood, so I am very choosy with what I say and sometimes I chose to stay silent. I do not say what is in my mind and my mind is hyperactive understanding even the most subtle. But it is always looking for reasons, arguments, it is defensive, defiant, sharp, armed to my teeth with answers to show them when they are wrong and when they are unfair or unjust. In a couple of conversations I heard Lilith has the intensity of Pluto and the sharpness of Urano.

Here is where the question comes, even if there are good reasons for feeling unheard or misunderstood, what makes the reaction so strong? In what way am I not listening to myself to take me at this level of anger? What I am not seeing, what was that I chose to hide?

I need to have a way to express myself and this is the start. I am glad I got triggered because I have now started this, a child of Lilith, finally started to write a blog.