From reaCtivity to Creativity

In my dream last night a woman professor was revising essays, I was awaiting with other students close to her, she gives me mine after a period of observing it and says - You need to write about living with low-income...

I was confused, I was not sure why she would say that, how was this relevant? Is it so I don't get charged lots of money? Is it so people who live with low income can identify and perhaps feel different, connected, heard...? Perhaps is to give space to the part of myself that I spent years denying or even running away from as fast as I could. The consequence was to forget about myself in order to make sure I have enough money not to be worried, but at what cost?

I did speak about it in one of the talks I attended to on this week Festival of Debate, I cannot recall which one (probably Flourishing) but I was trying to explain having low income does not mean you only have basic needs, you still have other needs like creativity, making sense of life, opportunities... somebody said... do not separate or exclude because you think they/we are just hungry for food...

That day and that evening I felt emotions I had not felt for a while, it was an excitement, sensual creativity from the centre of myself... How long has it been? May be 20 may be 30 years or more? May be I felt it on and off for years, but got a little crushed under the reality around me, the health needs of people living with low income: be of money or connections they had lost.

One very valuable thing I got from the time I committed myself to running away from money poverty was connecting with the people that were suffering from one reason or another. I could not take away the suffering but I could connect even if for a single conversation in a consulting room at a hospital. When I decided to leave the profession I felt what I would miss most was that connection. Not the work, not the colleagues, it was not hard to leave, it was freedom, but it could also be hard to find my real tribe. I did not think I would suffer isolation because there is no worst isolation than one can feel in a crowd, or even more in an institution you give most of your life to.

So, what does the title from reactivity to creativity means? I realised while journaling that is the same word with the letter c in a different position. In fact, I was writing in Spanish: "reactividad" and "creatividad". I was saying that trying to run away from something..., or reactivity, is not the best value or motivation to move in life, and I as looked I realised it was showing me to change the position of that letter c into creativity. Creativity, or the ability to listen to what our soul really wants, is a better value or motivation to move in life. Creativity, I am being shown, is to recognise and incorporate into our life those parts of ourselves that hold treasure even if that time of our life feels painful. Even if we felt victims of the circumstances.

When I wrote that, I realised I was answering one question that Pablo Flores asked me when teaching with my natal chart, which of you parents had Neptune energy? and I could not answer. He said to me: this is your homework, you have Moon in Piscis trine with Sun conjunct Neptune, your parents... in one way or another had that energy, once you can answer that question then you will understand better who you are... That really impacted me, but to give a good example of how understanding works for me as a reflector, I had that comment a little over two Moon cycles ago, it was said on 27th of March and today is 26th May and the coin drops.

Even more on human design, studying transits I see that overnight I had a defined channel as the Moon was transiting gate 58 of Joy and Vitality in the Root center which, with my defined gate 18 of Wholeness and Healing in the Spleen centre, completes the channel of Judgement, even if just for those 10 or 11 hours the Moon energises it. I was course correcting overnight, "eagle eying" what could go wrong (18) and receiving the vitality (58) necessary to act on it. My younger self was asking, she was giving me permission to go there and correct, to use my resources well.

When you do things for you soul

you feel a river moving in you,

a Joy.

Rumi

Note: in Gene Keys, my purpose sphere is 49, this reads as Reaction, Revolution, Rebirth, and it represented one of the most important learnings of my journey through this complex discipline. It is the only Gene Key I know well and it is because I understand reactivity (or Reaction), very well from experience. But also because it helps understand conflict, inner and outer, tribalism, including killing and war. It is a scary shadow side and one we continue to see playing in our world even stronger now with the very painful genocides in many countries like Congo and Palestine, and many more we hear less from. I firmly believe if we do not heal this conflict/war inside ourselves, they will continue to happen.